In several of my posts I’ve mentioned valuable ideas I’ve learned from reading How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It helps me understand people. Rule number one in the book is do not criticize, condemn or complain. He understood it only brings resentment and bad will.
I’ve also learned much from the writings of Marcus Aurelius, the emperor of the Roman empire from 161 to 180 AD. He took that concept one step further. He said, “Do not be overheard complaining….even to yourself.”
He understood others well and offered thoughts similar to Carnegie. He also had extensive self knowledge. I don’t know for sure, but I believe he understood the idea expressed by James Clear, “What you notice grows.”
Through the centuries many philosophers and religious leaders stressed being grateful. Brain research has confirmed their findings. The brain takes in more information than it can process. Therefore, it filters the information. I observe what passes through that filter. To be efficient it gives me information similar to what I’ve already paid attention to. I’m amazed how much it performs like the algorithms used by social media reinforcing what’s come before.
I help at a local food pantry. I asked a shopper what made her smile last week. She said, “Nothing, absolutely nothing.” I quickly changed the subject.
However, I was undaunted, so I asked the next shopper the same question. Her answer was “Everything!”
I don’t know the lives of these people, but they were both at the pantry for food assistance. I speculate that their lives are not total opposites, as their answers would suggest.
I know a guy I’ll call Gus. Gus is well educated and accomplished. It seems as though Gus likes to show off how smart he is by pointing out things he doesn’t like in the world. I don’t know how or when this pattern started for him, but it does seem to feed upon itself. I don’t enjoy time with Gus.
On the other hand there’s my friend Jim. He’s just the opposite. He always has something positive to say. Time with Jim flows well.
I am grateful when I think about Jim like people. Thinking about Gus like people feels like complaining to myself. Dale and Marcus were wise men. For a happier life I’ll do my best to follow their advice and rule number one. Nothing more complicated than perception.
May you have enough today, one moment at a time.
Let your vagus nerve help.
THIS HELPED ME 