CYA

Many years ago I read a story about a young couple who just got married. The wife wanted to cook a nice meal for her husband. She made a delicious ham dinner. After they finished eating the husband complimented his wife on the food. Then he asked a question. “I noticed you cut the two ends of the ham off. Why did you do that?”

She replied, “Because my mom always did it that way, but I never asked why. Next time I see her I’ll find out.” Later when she saw her mom she asked, “Mom why do you cut off the two ends of the ham when you bake it?”

Her mom answered “Because your grandmother always cooked it that way. I’ll ask her why the next time I see her.” A few days later she saw the young woman’s grandmother and posed the question.

The response came quickly. “My baking pan is too short.”

The grandmother had a good reason for cutting off the two ends of the ham. Her daughter and granddaughter assumed the reason applied to them also. They both imported the assumption without asking why.  

CYA is a popular acronym for cover your (assets). I use it to stand for something else, check your assumptions. After reading that story a question lingered in my mind. What do I know about my assumptions? The question wouldn’t go away. I started noticing how often I followed in others footsteps without asking why. I was living with imported assumptions.  

Years later I read Isaac Lidsky’s book, Eyes Wide Open. On page one he tells the following story:

“When my wife, Dorothy, was a little girl, she was fascinated by her pet goldfish. Her father explained that fish swim by quickly wagging their tails to propel themselves through the water. Without hesitation or doubt, Dorothy responded by informing him that fish swim backward by wagging their heads!”

Isaac goes on to write how “Our lives are full of backwards swimming fish. We make faulty leaps of logic. We make a myriad assumptions. We prejudge. We harbor biases. We assume. We experience our beliefs and opinions as incontrovertible truths.” Dorothy had a home grown assumption about the goldfish wagging its head to swim backward.

This got me thinking again. Over the years I had been careful not to assume that others’ conclusions were necessarily right for me. But how many of my own judgements did I assume were fact instead of investigating them further? What were the backward swimming fish in my life?

Then I came across a TED talk by Sarah T. Stewart about how the moon was formed. Her team was having trouble coming up with a model that explained how the moon could be formed out of the earth. They were stuck. Then they decided to throw out what they thought they knew. They became open to different possibilities and found the answer.

Discovering a workable theory about the origin of the moon is a big deal. However, Sarah stumbled upon something even more important. She said, “What else am I missing in the world around me? What is hidden from my view by my own assumptions? The next time you look at the moon remember the things you think you know may be the opportunity to discover something truly amazing.”

I operate by assumptions every day. It would be almost impossible not to. I don’t have time to thoroughly investigate everything with which I deal. However, I have decided to examine my cornerstone beliefs. The more important something is to me, the more attention it gets. I’m not going to leave them to either imported or home grown assumptions.

I don’t like important things hidden from my view. I’ll think before cutting off the ends of the ham. I’ll watch out for backwards swimming fish and never look at the moon in the same way. Nothing more complicated than perception

May you have enough today, one moment at a time.

Let your vagus nerve help.