In southern states many kids attend something called cotillion. Sheldon Cooper from the Big Ban Theory defines it as “a process that teaches preadolescent children social graces and dance skills needed to function in 18th century Vienna.” We didn’t have cotillion in my hometown, but we did have Mrs. Laird’s ballroom dance lessons. Against my will I attended these lessons in the sixth and seventh grade. It was expected of most children who weren’t Baptist. I could write pages on how awful it was, except of course the times I got to dance with Laura Ryder, my first crush.
Fast forward several years to my time attending the University of Texas in Austin. There, a right of passage was going Tuesday nights to a dance hall called The Silver Dollar. They had a live band, no cover charge and discount pitchers of beer. I learned girls really like to dance, so dancing took on a new appeal. To be a good dancer, a guy needs to be able to dance backwards sometimes. It’s part of the rhythm that makes dancing more fun.
In the previous post, The Whole Enchilada, I talked about viewing others as a whole. The same applies to myself. I was having a hard time putting it into words until I saw this quote by Melody Godfred, “I finally found my rhythm when I realized that even the steps backwards were part of the dance.”
I understand rebounding from setbacks. I wrote four posts on different aspects of handling life when things don’t go my way. However, I didn’t know where to start talking about traits I don’t like in myself. I’ve mentioned I am a type five on the enneagram. I also have a very strong six wing, traits of another type. I have a propensity to predict worse case outcomes. That along with my five trait of needing to be competent, has caused me to miss opportunities in my life. Fear is my operating system, the water in which I swim. This has been a big cause of me feeling as if I’m not enough. I wrote about that part of the human condition in the post, The Big Secret.
Mary Godfred helped me see the parts of myself I don’t like, the backwards steps, are important too. A large factor in much of my success comes from preparation. That stems from a desire to be competent and seeing what can go wrong ahead of time. I often told the basketball teams I coached, “We may or may not be the best team in the gym come game time, but we will be the most prepared.”
I’ve learned to be on guard for the possibility of missing opportunities that come with my nature. It gives me the chance to summon courage in those situations. I get the satisfaction of doing it anyway, despite my innate makeup.
I guess others feel that way about themselves too, just from different causes. My backwards steps, also make me who I am. I dance with them as I journey through my best life. What I don’t do anymore, is let them cause me not to accept myself. I love the ending of the movie Romancing the Stone. Jack Colton utters these words that I’ve worn since I heard them in 1984. You’re going to be alright. You always were. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qtr141x7BA
I’m enough. I always was. I found my rhythm, frontwards and backwards. Nothing more complicated than perception.
May you have enough today, one moment at a time.
THIS HELPED ME 