VOTB

Once again I’m going to reference my old roommate Bill. One of his favorite expressions  has been “tough break”. Any time something unfortunate happened to someone Bill would say “tough break for………” Sometimes he would say they were a “victim of the tough break”. It’s been used so much that it was shortened to “VOTB”. We teased that it was if there was an entity known as tough break, who was roaming around the world looking for victims. If it found you then you were a VOTB, victim of the tough break. This terminology has spread to many of my friends and family over the years. Hearing it is a common occurrence.

In my last post I introduced a new term, Intrafelism, the practice of getting one’s well being from inside one’s self. It is the antithesis of VOTB. I have found that the practice of intrafelism is much more practical and results in a happier life than being a VOTB.

First of all, getting upset only makes bad situations worse. I suffer more and don’t think as clearly. It certainly doesn’t affect the situation. If I have a flat tire at the wrong time the tire doesn’t care that I get upset. It’s still flat. Usually the emotional fallout is worse than the event. Also sometimes what seems like a tough break at first can end up being to my advantage. That happens more often if I keep my wits about me rather than getting upset.

Tough breaks happen. Lot’s of them are worse than a flat tire and I am not making light of them. However, that’s life. How I respond is my choice. Epictetus said, “Keep constant guard over your perceptions, for it is no small thing you are protecting, but your respect, trustworthiness and steadiness, peace of mind, your freedom from pain and fear, in a word your freedom. For what you sell these things.”

In the book The Daily Stoic there is a wonderful line. “-it’s as if we all belong to a religious cult that believes the gods of fate will only give us what we want if we sacrifice our peace of mind.” To me that’s being a victim. No VOTB for me.

May you have enough today, one moment at a time.