I spent most of my adult life selling insurance and coaching basketball. It was important for me to be a good communicator. I learned quickly that my choice of words mattered. One of the most effective word choices I make is replacing but with and. I do that when someone is giving me information and I want to add something. If I say but, they stop listening because I have diminished the value of their information, no matter how important it is. Their feelings get hurt and they shut down.
A better way is to first affirm in some way the information that was given to me by repeating all or part of it. Then I use and to transition to new content. I build on what they have said, rather than lessening it.
To paraphrase Maya Angelou, People may not remember what you said and they may not remember what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel. If I come off being critical by using but, my opportunity to communicate effectively has been lost. Replacing it with and gives the person a chance to feel important, while still adding my information. Nothing more complicated than perception.
May you have enough today, one moment at a time.
Let your vagus nerve help.
THIS HELPED ME 