I’ve been competitive all my life. I’ve always wanted to be first. I didn’t handle losing well at all. As I got older I still had a burning desire to win, but was better at dealing with losses, at least in public.
In the last few decades I found a healthy way satisfy my urge to be #1. I make it a habit to smile first. When I make eye contact with someone, whether I know them or not, I give them a smile. Most of the time they smile back. However, I’m okay if they don’t. I smile to set the tone for a possible encounter. I’m like a dog waging my tail. I let them know it’s my intention to be friendly.
As I get closer to the person I speak first, giving them a verbal greeting. That combined with a smile will usually help relax them and it shows. They start with their guard up, but begin to lower it. They want to be friendly and this helps them start that process. I get a lot of practice with this as I cycle on the hike and bike trail. I speak with everyone, even though there won’t be a conversation or usually even a reply. It helps reinforce my habit for other situations.
After that I am first to ask them a question. Sometimes that can be in the greeting, “How are you?” Often when I’m dealing with a service person I’ll change things up and ask them what made them smile recently. Last week l asked a young lady who looked like she didn’t want to be there. She told me all about her dog and even showed me a picture. The whole encounter changed.
I even do these things on the phone. Often the other person doesn’t quite know what to do about it. Usually they will come around and get friendlier. If they don’t, it’s alright. My intention is what matters. I decided to be friendly and take actions to reflect it. I’m first to put myself out there. It is a reminder that the way I go through life is not dependent on the actions of others.
I still like winning. I’ve just redefined what being first is about for me. My life is all the better for it. Nothing more complicated than perception. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_CE7GqqrvY
May you have enough today, one moment at a time.
THIS HELPED ME 