I have a question. That sentence works wonders for me and I say it a lot. I’m a curious person, so I often use it in the standard way, to get more information. However, it’s also a powerful tool in emotionally charged situations. Others are receptive to it, as long as it’s truly a question. If my question is, “why are you being such a jerk?” Well, we all know how that will turn out. I need to be open to more information. I usually learn something that changes my perception. That in turn changes the situation.
I also use it as a conversation starter. It’s a non-threatening way to break the ice. I often follow it up with, “what’s different about (fill in the blank) than you thought it would be?” Recently I’ve been using a better question. What is better about (fill in the blank) than you thought it would be? It gets the conversation started off on a positive note. People relax and talk about something that makes them happy.
The best way I’ve found to have a positive conversation is as follows: I have a question. What made you smile this past week? Very often I’m asked to repeat myself because nobody ever asks them such a question. Their response almost always generates more questions. How old are your kids/grandkids? What kind of dog do you have, and the like.
Now and then I’ve gotten unexpected answers. I went to confession for the first time in thirty years. My grandpa gave me his truck. My book was published. Whatever they say is okay. I just go with it. Everybody has a story they want to tell. By asking the right questions I get the privilege of hearing theirs.
When my daughter got married she told me to pick the song for our dance. I chose Your Song by Elton John. It was my way of telling her all the effort I’d put into her life was my song to her. It was all I had to give and I loved doing it. When I hear Your Song my mind takes me back to our dance and the message I was sending.
The last lines are “And you can tell everybody this is your song. It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done. I hope you don’t mind. I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you’re in the world.”
That’s the attitude I want to have when I say, “I have a question”. It’s your song. Let me hear it. Nothing more complicated than perception.
May you have enough today, one moment at a time.
THIS HELPED ME 