As I said in my prior post, Sitting, I was raised to look on the bright side of things and be optimistic. However, in his wonderful book, How To Stop Worrying And Start Living Dale Carnegie recommends a magic three step formula he learned from Willis H. Carrier, which seems to advise the opposite of my lifelong philosophy.
“Step I. I analyzed the situation fearlessly and honestly and figured out what was the worst that could possibly happen as a result of my failure.”
“Step II. After figuring out what was the worst that could possibly happen, I reconciled myself to accepting it, if necessary.”
“Step III. From that time on, I calmly devoted my time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which I had already accepted mentally.”
When I first read this I thought it was blasphemy. I was an optimist and always looked for the best. How could looking at the worst case scenario be of help?
When I was a kid I spent countless hours playing sports in the neighborhood with the other boys. There were many arguments about the rules ect. I became really good at arguing. It was important for my standing in the neighborhood. That doesn’t work with reality. The current circumstances don’t care how much I want things to be different, no matter how strongly I feel about it. They will not be otherwise, at that point in time.
Carrier’s formula puts me on solid ground right away because it forces me to accept what IS. I know where I stand. If I can accept what has happened and know in the long run I’m going to be ok, that takes the pressure off. As my dad used to tell me, “The world is going to keep right on turning.” The World is Going to Keep Right on Turning It gives me a different way of looking at things.
From that point on I have nothing left to lose and everything to gain. I’m playing with house money so to speak. I can get to work trying to improve the situation. My attention and energy is spent productively rather on destructive worry that gets me nowhere. The only real change is my perspective. However, I’ve learned that a change in perspective can do magical things.
May you have enough today, one moment at a time.
THIS HELPED ME 