I grew up in a wonderful family. My parents were supportive and positive. They lived the ideal that people are as happy as they want to be. I adopted that philosophy. I tried to look at the bright side of things and for the most part that worked. However, there were a few times a year where I just wasn’t able to shake negative feelings.
At some point I discovered when that happened I was better off just giving in and ending the fight against them for a while. I would quit trying to be productive in all respects: mentally, emotionally and physically. Get a picture of me sitting on the couch watching trash TV, meaning something I really had no interest in, and eating whatever junk food I liked. I would let myself hit bottom so to speak. It usually didn’t take very long for me to snap out of my funk.
I was able to give this basic concept more depth after reading Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth. In it he talks about something he calls the pain body. He describes it as an accumulation of old emotional pain that is carried around. He also talks about how destructive it is to retain these emotions that aren’t dealt with while touching on another concept about being upset about being upset.
Think of it this way. If I am angry, but don’t accept being angry I am adding another layer of pain for the situation I’m already in. He explained the concept of accepting I’m angry and letting that anger exist, instead of trying to run from it.
When our girls were little they didn’t like to be chased by other kids. We told them, “If you don’t run they can’t chase you.” It’s the same with emotions. If I try to run from them they will just keep chasing me. If I stop and face them the chase is over. Once I do that I find the emotion isn’t as scary as I thought it would be. I sit with the emotion. I’ll find a quiet place and let myself feel as mad as possible. However, the following step is key. I feel the emotion, but refuse to have a story to go with it. It is the story telling in my head that gives the emotion more energy and keeps it alive. Without the story there is no more fuel for the emotion and it quickly dissipates. I’ve dealt with it by fully feeling it, so there is no negative energy left to be added to the pain body.
In my last blog post SOFO, I said the first obstacle in my bouncing back from is labeling the circumstances as bad rather than accepting it with no label and that’s true. However, if I have an emotional reaction at first that emotion needs to be dealt with or it will be added to my pain body. Diffusing that emotion lets me move forward in the situation without the added weight of emotional baggage.
Recognizing my emotions and dealing with them by feeling them, but without a story, allows them to run their course quickly without a hangover. A few minutes of sitting with them prevents hours of trouble they would generate later and allows me to rebound better.
May you have enough today, one moment at a time.
THIS HELPED ME 
I’ve been re-reading Howard Thurman’s book “Meditations of the Heart,” and among his many ideas that resonate with me — and I’m going to paraphrase — is that there are three kinds of people (I tend to over simplify). The first are people who are just naturally joyful. The second are people who are just naturally un-joyful. And the third are people kinda in the middle and are sometimes joyful and sometimes not. I think most people fall in this catagory. I am grateful that I’m sort of in the first catagory. The lesson for me is to accept people where THEY are, not where I think I am or where I think they SHOULD be. The failure to accept people where they are is one of the things I struggle with. I remember a priest from Spain that I encounered in my early twenties. We “kidded” him about the Spanish Inquisition — how can one “kid” about somthing like this??! In any case, he admitted that this was wrong, but then he said “But you know, error has no rights.” It was only much later that I realized that I wished I had replied, “Yes, but PEOPLE have rights.” I need to remember that every person I encounter, regardless of their opinions or actions, have RIGHTS as members of the Body of Christ.
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