Superpower

When my daughters were little we loved to play the “what if” game. One of our favorite versions was what if you had a superpower. What would it be and why? They had a variety of answers, such as being invisible or super speed. Of course I played too. Mine was often being able to fly because come on, what’s cooler than flying?

A superpower that never came up was the ability to read minds. To me that wasn’t much of a stretch. In my post Bird Brain I talked about seeing things from another’s perspective, but how do I know what they are thinking about? Once again Dale Carnegie helped me. In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People he wrote, “People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves-morning, noon and after dinner.”

Above all else I remember that people think about themselves almost constantly. It’s easy to find out what those thoughts are by asking a few open ended questions. They will let you know what’s on their mind.

The hard part is making the effort to not follow the natural instinct of thinking about myself. Dale quotes Owen D. Young in this regard. “People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them”. 

When clients came to my office they thought we were going to talk about insurance. I would start by asking a few questions that didn’t have to do with their policy. They thought I was breaking the ice, but I was probing to see what was really important to them. When I found out what that was, I’d be quiet and listen. It usually had nothing to do with insurance. They could get policies anywhere. What’s hard is finding someone who will stop thinking about themselves long enough to really listen. When they left they had a policy and we had a relationship. They stayed with us because of the relationship. Life is about relationships, it’s that simple.

It takes effort for me to think outside of myself. However, when I do I find the superpower of mind reading is there waiting for me. It’s been more than worth that effort.

May you have enough today, one moment at a time.