A few months ago I was driving near my home and stopped at a red light. In front of me was a plumber’s van. On the back of the van was the name of the business and this slogan. “We answer the phone. We show up.”
When I saw it I couldn’t quit laughing. What an amazing thing to say. Of course you show up, doesn’t everyone? I kept thinking about the slogan and remembered the Woody Allen quote, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” That got me thinking. What does showing up really mean?
I know what showing up has meant in my life. I learned about dependability from my Dad when I was three years old, see my Trust post. He continued to reinforce that example through the years.
Showing up was also a part of my social experience. I grew up in a neighborhood full of boys and we played a lot of sports. I was often the leader in trying to organize games by getting enough kids to play. We’d agree on where and when to meet, but often some of them were no shows. When I asked them about it later they’d say things like, “I didn’t feel like it” or “I forgot.” I didn’t understand that type of attitude.
However, there were two kids that always showed up, Neil and Tim. That impressed me right away. As we got to know each other we became very close friends. I think of them as my brothers. It was great to have somebody in the neighborhood I could count on. We really took pride in the way we could depend on each other. Here is a story that explains it better.
Tim owned a ski boat and we made plans to go skiing at a river one Saturday afternoon. Tim had to work that morning. Neil and I went to check on some things at my family’s ranch near that river and would meet Tim at the boat ramp. There was a possibility of rain, so we told Tim we’d get to a pay phone and call him if it was raining there. Otherwise he would bring his boat and join us.
That morning it was raining hard over most of the state. When Tim got off work he started getting his things together to go skiing. His mom asked him what he was doing. He told her the three of us were meeting at the river to go skiing. She thought he was nuts because it was raining so hard. He told her, “The guys said they would call if it was raining there. I haven’t heard from them so I have to meet them.”
Meanwhile Neil and I were getting to a pay phone as fast as we could to call him. We knew Tim would drive down there otherwise. We were able to get in touch with him before he did much prep work to come.
I told this story to a friend once when I was having dependability disagreement with her. Her response was, “Your standard of friendship is too high.”
I had a short reply, “No it’s just right.”
In my post Do the Best You Can I talked about the rocky start I had with my college roommate Bill and how we became good friends. The biggest part of our relationship has been showing up for each other. I feel very rich that I have added a few more close friends besides Neil and Tim who show up. In my opinion one sufficient. More than that is great wealth.
Our oldest daughter got married in January of 2020. We were pleased to have so many friends share the day with us before Covid 19 hit. Bill and his wife came all the way from New Jersey. He also made it to both my parent’s funerals. He showed up. Several friends stayed to help us with the lengthy cleanup, including Bill. Neil and Tim were the only ones to stay until we walked out. They were literally the last two to drive out of the parking lot. I made sure our other daughter noticed because I wanted her to understand what committed friends do. I had a chance to thank Tim while we were putting something away together. He brushed it off by saying, “You do stuff for me all the time.” He didn’t think twice about showing up.
To a lot of people showing up is doing the minimum when it comes to friendship. To me it’s someone being able to rely on me. It’s saying with my actions that you are important and I’m willing to go out of my way to prove it. That’s what being my friend means. I’ll show up.
One of my favorite parts of any movie is the final scene of Dances with Wolves. John Dunbar and his wife are leaving the tribe forever. His friend, Wind in his Hair, goes to the top of a mountain to let John know he will always be John’s friend. He shows up for John. Here is the link to that clip.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH_nhvO8stg
What else would be more important to spend my energy on besides showing up for friends? I’ll leave you with this link to one of my favorite songs. It’s about showing up also.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9XBAnUReGI
May you have enough today, one moment at a time.
THIS HELPED ME 