It’s My Nature

I’ve been a Star Trek fan since the 70s. I thought the original program, Star Trek
the Next Generation and Deep Space Nine were all well done. I wasn’t as
impressed with Star Trek Voyager, but watched most of the shows anyway. There
was a particular scene that taught me something important. Voyager wanted to
cross space occupied by the Borg, a powerful enemy. The captain was going to
make a deal with the Borg that would ensure them safe passage. The first officer
didn’t like the idea and explained why by reciting the parable of The Fox and the
Scorpion.

Here is the video:

Stinging the fox would ensure the scorpion himself would die too. However, he
couldn’t help himself. It was his nature. Of course the parable is really about
humans. So often in life I’d seen people do self-destructive things. That made no
sense, but I finally realized it was just their nature. People follow their nature,
even if it isn’t good for them. The fox trusted the scorpion and he paid the price. I
decided that I wouldn’t expect anyone to go against their nature. That would be
foolish and a recipe for disappointment and frustration. I’ve been pleased with
that decision through the years.

Learning the nature of my players was the starting place for coaching basketball.
How athletic were they? How fast could they learn? What was the best way to
motivate each one? Knowing these things allowed me to have reasonable
expectations of them. Doing otherwise would be unfair. What was fair was for me
to want more from them, but at the same time be satisfied with who they already
were. The trick to good coaching is getting them to believe that.

The next step was learning the nature of our opponents. I’d spend hours scouting
teams to know how they liked to play. Then I’d create a plan to defend their
tendencies and make them do something else instead. That made them very
uncomfortable and unsettled. It was like making a right handed person eat soup
with their left hand. It doesn’t take a lot to learn somebody’s nature. They will
show it to me soon enough. I just have to be observant and focus outside myself.
The important thing is for me to believe them the first time they reveal it, instead
of hoping it will be what I want.

However, the parable was about more than just people to me. I discovered that
everything has a nature, both living and nonliving. Mosquitos bite, grass is green,
ice is hard and cold, and water is wet and flows. Even situations have a nature
depending on who and/or what is involved. Before I get involved in anything I ask,
what is the nature of the participants involved in this? What’s reasonable to
expect? If I don’t know I try to find out before getting in too deeply. Then I
operate with the idea that things will follow their nature. It’s a lot like having a
window into the future, which is a big advantage.

Since that’s been so successful, I decided to apply the same logic to myself. I have
a nature and I know it better than I know anything else. I learned a lot about my
nature from the enneagram, see the Enneagram High Five post. I can go against
my nature temporarily. That can be productive if necessary, but is uncomfortable
at best. To go against my true nature for a long time is asking for trouble.

Although, I do believe in self-examination and reflection. Parts of my nature are
innate. That is who I am. Other parts come from years of conditioning and have
become “second nature” to me. That is worth looking at. Why did that happen?
Is it based on facts are false assumptions? Is it bringing me what I want? What
would happen if it changed? What would the change process look like? Am I
willing to do what it takes to change that part of my second nature? I can want
more from myself and still be satisfied with my true nature. That’s being honest
and fair with myself.

I’ll keep asking questions to find out the essence of whatever I’m dealing with,
including me. That’s helpful. It’s also my nature.

May you have enough today, one moment at a time.