People have always been somewhat of a mystery to me. Maybe that’s why I’ve
been so interested in the human condition. One day my friend Gina told me about
something that helped me understand people better. It’s called the enneagram.
She suggested I read The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne
Stabile. I am by no means an enneagram expert. I only have a basic working
knowledge. However, I can tell you how it’s helped me.
The enneagram is a personality typing system. It focuses on how different types
view the world. There are nine personality types. Each type has its own lens that
colors its perception. I had no idea that was the case. No wonder I didn’t
understand most people. I don’t see the world as they do.
My type is a five, the investigator. I make sense of the world by gathering
information. If I can understand something, then I can deal with it and feel more
comfortable. According to the enneagram that lens never changes. What can
change is what I do about how I see the world.
What has changed for me is how I perceive others. I no longer expect them to see
the world with my lens. I have more understanding and compassion for them.
They are being who they are. Why should I expect anything else?
I have also developed more understanding and acceptance of myself. I always
thought a man should be a type eight, the challenger, even before I knew about
the enneagram. A man should be a high energy outgoing leader who doesn’t back
down from anything. That wasn’t me, no matter how hard I tried. Therefore, I felt
I was defective. Now I know that’s not my nature. I have other strengths like
being observant, objective and a good listener. I’ve learned to appreciate them.
The enneagram explains that each type has strengths that can also be their
weaknesses. What stood out to me was that the weaknesses appeared when I
was trying to compensate for not being who I felt I “should be”. The more I
accepted myself as I was, the more the strengths naturally came out.
Accepting myself as I am is not to be used as an excuse for poor behavior. I’m still
responsible for my actions, as is everyone else. It’s just easier to understand
myself and others.
Each personality type has other types they gravitate toward in stress or security.
For fives, the security type is an eight, the challenger. The great irony is the more I
accept myself as I am, the investigator, the more I naturally move toward the
positive qualities of the challenger. I spent years trying to force myself into that
type. My defenses were acting against me. I’m going to watch out for other ways
my defenses cause problems.
The more I relax and appreciate who I am, the more other positive qualities
naturally show up. I am more at peace with myself and others.
May you have enough today, one moment at a time.
THIS HELPED ME 